Human water balloon gulps so much H2O she’s ready to pop!

Now what on dear earth is that subject line you’ve just clicked on!?

Well, I asked myself the same question when I was scrolling through some old magazines just now.

So if you know me, you know I’m a marketing nerd.

In my free time, I like to read ads, and magazines to understand why they work.

And on my search for some marketing gems…

I found this:

This is a cover from The National Enquirer.

And ignoring the fact that it instantly killed about 30% of my brain cells…

I LOVE this cover.

Haha I mean just look at those fucking headlines!

But this cover teaches us something INCREDIBLY important about online business, copywriting, and marketing.

Pattern Interrupts

The ability to take the reader out of their current state of mind…

And JOLT them into your world.

See, your audience is bombarded with information 24/7.

You know this. You’ve heard this before.

And chances are, you also know how fucking difficult it is to stop them from doom-scrolling and start engaging with your content.

You know because:

• Nobody opens your emails

• Your impressions are down in the gutter

• Your follower growth has essentially been nonexistent these past few weeks

I’ll tell you why that is:

You’re not pattern interrupting.

In other words, you’re not interesting enough!

Ouch.

I know that hurts.

Luckily, there is one KEY thing you can do to finally make your audience stop in their tracks and listen to what you’re saying.

(So you can finally start growing & building a loyal audience again).

Let’s dive in, shall we?

Targeting the 3 KEY emotions

See, 3 very particular emotions will make ANY human being stop dead in their tracks and come to a grinding halt (to read your post).

What are they?

• Fear

• Anger

• Curiosity

A fucking “human water balloon that gulps down so much H2O she’s about to pop”!?!

Are you kidding me?

I HAVE to click on that.

Why?

It evokes TONS of curiosity. 

(What does a “human water balloon” look like? What happens if she pops? Why did they write “H2O” and not “water”? How is that even possible!?)

Another example:

“Why morning routines are a giant SCAM.”

Uhh I’ve pissed you off, haven’t I?

That right there is ANGER!

(Btw. I love morning routines. Please don’t go chasing me with pitchforks and torches.)

I’ll hit you with one last one:

“WARNING: If you’re a side sleeper, you’re slowly KILLING yourself.”

Wait what?

I sleep on my side…

Does that mean I’m doing something wrong?

Does that actually mean I’m slowly killing myself?

FEAR.

You just felt fear my friend.

And guess what you also felt?

The desire to find out more.

And THAT’s exactly what you need to do with your own content.

In short: You need to SHOCK your reader.

Now, does this mean you have to write about human water balloons and morning routines?

Hell nah.

You don’t have to be unethical or bullshitty.

What it means is this:

Whenever you’re writing a hook…
trigger your target audience’s emotions.

More specifically:

• Fear

• Anger

• Curiosity

To drive down the point, I’ll give you 3 in-field examples I recently used:

Can you feel the feaaaar?

Curiosity in the first line. Do you see it?

This is sure to piss some people off haha.

I think you get the point.

I cannot express in words how important this is.

If you don’t have your hook nailed, no one will read the rest of your post.

And all those hours you’ve spent crafting the perfect long-form, email, or thread… will go to waste.

What a shame.

What’s worse?

If nobody reads the rest of your post, nobody will ever trust you enough to give you their hard-earned money.

Which means… you’ll stay broke and trapped in your soul-sucking 9-5 or university. Forever.

And that really sucks.

So don’t take this lightly and use pattern interrupts.

Do it like The National Enquirer.

Talk soon,

Tim <3

P.S. I had a blast writing this email.

Let me know if you enjoyed it too. It takes you literally 2 seconds to respond, but your feedback is incredibly valuable.

Thank you :)

P.P.S. I’m FINALLY launching my storytelling guide next week. Stay tuned.

About us: I'm Tim and over the past few months I have achieved over 1,900 followers on X. You are receiving this email because You’re part of Cut the crap newsletter an absolute fcking rockstar who is gonna kill it in X and make your parent’s jaw drop with twice the speed of an F1 car, I will make sure that every piece of content you receive from me is no bs and straight to the point like my motto but if you would prefer to follow the path meant for losers, live a lifestyle that’s a complete joke, desolate the path of mediocrity then you can, of course, unsubs from the link down below and you would not be receiving these value bombs daily and you would be sweating with everyday tasks like you’ve been breakdancing in the Sahara desert, and without a mentor to guide you will make sure that you utterly fail in every realm of skills that ever existed, if that’s the case then we can turn in the workbook, shake hands and part as friends, no hard feelings, I’ll remember you and make sure you do not ever come back in peace. To make sure you receive emails from me every day just star this email and add me as a contact. We need to fight this as a team. I ensure that your personal information provided when signing up for my newsletter is safe. I use a ton of safety measures to make sure that your data is protected. I pride myself on my reputation and that means I would not be giving your personal information away to third parties. this email is meant to help you and if you use this for any bad purposes you'll be held guilty under the international law and this is not allowed to be copy-pasted. if any discrepancies are found the person responsible will be punished according to the copyright law. This email is a publication of the Cut the crap newsletter. If you have any questions about this just reply to this email or shoot me a dm on Twitter